Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
