Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
