Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
