wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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