I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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