I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
