We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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