Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
