so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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