And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
