I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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