i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
