NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
