And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
