I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
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