he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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