She is in my trunk
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
