"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
