and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
