We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
