You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
