i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
