No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
nutella sex= disaster
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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