just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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