I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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