I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
