Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
