I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Be still, my beating vagina.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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