How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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