dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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