That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
