Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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