You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
