The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
