As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
