someone owes me an orgasm
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
