New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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