do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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