I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
