I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
