I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
