So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
