Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
