brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
