its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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