D3 body, D1 cock
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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