so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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