Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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