you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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