What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
