Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
