I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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