You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
