i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
